“You know Zosia, you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors.” – My Mother.
Ugh! Yes! For years my mother drilled it into my head! My sister or I would come home from school upset about what someone said or did or whatever and she would ALWAYS take the other persons side. I couldn’t STAND it. Couldn’t she for once just be on our team?
Really. We were being bullied or tortured by some ingrate and she would seriously take their side always saying “You really do not know what their perspective is or what they are going through themselves.” But does it really give them the right to be a jerk? Come on, Mom. So annoying.
But alas… Even though it bothers me to this day, as an adult, I get it. If someone treats me as ‘less than’, then there is probably something going on with them. They had to learn that behavior from somewhere, right? At work for example, my a-hole boss may have the same pressure on him that he is now putting on me. Or that unfriendly guy that snubs his nose at me every day may be going through a tough divorce that he never saw coming. He responds by taking a cold approach with others. Even on the street, I’ll sometimes see a person mean-mugging as they walk determinedly along the street; could they be going through some brutal stuff? Everyone has a heavy burden to carry at some point in time.
So Mom… Again, you drove me insane as a child, but thank you. Thank you for teaching that lesson to me. You have given me the ability to not take things so personally. You have given me a way to see past the BS and into the person. Honestly, I still would have liked if you had taken my side once in awhile. I mean, come on. But I do appreciate you taking my backlash and I appreciate the lesson. You’ve undoubtedly saved me from much misunderstanding and you’ve given me the ability to form some sort of compassion for other human beings. It’s a gentleness that I may have never known and it gives me a sense of peace when someone is bugging the hell out of me, and I thank you for that.
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