This is the first time in my life where I can pay all of my bills and save for the future. None of my student loans are on deferment; I’m making all of my payments. I’m 100% on top of it all. And you know what the real kicker is? I really can’t stand my job. All I want to do is quit every single day. I go in with so much dread and leave with excitement. It’s been like this for 6 months, now.
I’m seriously stuck in job search hell. I look for new jobs constantly. I come close… but nothing pans out. I get it. I want it all which should be “impossible”. Yet, I want a job I love or at least gives me time to work on things I love, I want flexibility and I want to be close to home or have the option to work from home. However, there has got to be a way to make this work. I’m stretched so thin right now. I feel like I might break.
Is it true that one door can’t open without another one closing? Must I really just walk away from the health insurance, the stability, the responsibility in order to get something new? I don’t think I can do that! I want to be a good example to my son. And, I don’t want him to see mommy quitting when things get tough. At least not without something lined up.
So here I go, a few more hours until 5pm. SOMETHING has to give at some point. It can’t stay like this forever, stuck in job search hell. I just saw an ad this morning for a something that may work out. I’m applying. I have to keep trying.